I usually have one day (at least) where the stress of the “Sometime Single Parenting” takes over. Daddy is gone this week. Activities/extra commitments add to the list of things that must be done ON TIME. Last night was one of those days where I was just gritting my teeth trying to get through the list. At the very end of the night both girls were firing requests/questions like machine-guns at me. “Can I have some milk?”, “Can we play Uno?”, “We should dance!”, “I don’t want to take a bath!”, and “Can we watch something?” are some, but not all examples. I finally cracked and yelled, “AHHH”! The girls stopped and looked at me uncertainly. I then explained I’m not perfect and I’m doing the best I can do. It was comical from one standpoint, but I was overwhelmed and I didn’t hide it. I told them that I was sorry. Here’s what happened next:
Sam: Mom, I think you need a big hug.
Mom: That would be really nice sweetie, thank you.
Sam: I love you so much Mommy!
Mom: I love you too, I can’t tell you what a honor it is to be your mom. I’m really lucky to have you as my daughter.
We then discussed how no one is perfect… not her or her sister, not me or Daddy, not Nana or Papa or Grammy, etc. (She listed approximately 25 people in total.) It was a fun conversation with the focus on trying to be good and accepting that we’ll never be perfect.
Samantha and Sofia see my flaws, but they see me pick myself up after a stumble. They see me apologize or talk about why I chose something over a different option. I love that they see it even if they don’t always understand it. It’s important to me to give them a realistic view of the world. Both girls are extraordinarily smart and observant and hiding my humanity (for lack of a better term) is not an option. In all, I really am honored to be their mom and grateful they accept me for me. I hope I succeed in reciprocating that.
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