Soccer time for Samantha

Daddy and I are continuing our efforts to expose Samantha to a variety of activities. There are so many options, but we try one thing at a time. Now it's soccer and she's on the same team as one of her closest friends, Ella. Samantha is so excited to be on the same team as her friend! Sam is learning the skills and getting really good at dribbling the ball! She really wanted to try the goalie position and will get a turn at it soon. Grammy, Nana and Papa all came to her first game which made it even more fun! Grammy especially enjoyed cheering Samantha on!

Last week without Daddy

This is the last week of Daddy's work travels for awhile. It was really hard on him to be away from us, but we kept in touch with frequent phone calls. I think the girls are just as excited as I am to have this period over, even though we've had a lot of fun! Our village has come out to support us with multiple visits from grandparents and friends. It demonstrated yet again how fortunate we are to be loved and I cherish these times even though we all miss Daddy when he's gone.

Auntie She came by for some tickling and games, which thrilled the girls!

The other side of the family tree

Daddy had to go to work today and he'll be gone all week. I got these shots right before he left. Of course Sofia had just been woken up so she wasn't as engaged in the photo opportunity.

Right after he left today the girls and I headed out to see the other side of the family tree. Great-Grandpa was at Aunt Shelly and Uncle Todd's house with Nana and Papa. Their baby cousins (Jordan and Dylan), who are about to become mobile were there as well. All the kids were so entertaining to watch!

Family Reunion (Grammy's side)

We got to see Grammy's (and Mommy's) side of the family today! It was fun and the day flew by. Samantha and Sofia found friends to play with and really didn't want to leave. The reunion was at the family farm (my cousin and his wife are the current owners), which has been in the family since 1865. It was interesting to hear about the history of the place, There is so much to listen to!

The story of the old oak tree that isn't on the property anymore, but will never be cut down. That tree led a (I don't know how many times great-) grandfather walking home in the middle of a blizzard. It stands right in the middle of a field, looking like it has a reason to be there.

Seeing the home that Grammy was born in was amazing. She was born in the early 1940's and it started me thinking about how different her early years were compared to the technology that exists in this era. I'm not sure how to put my thoughts into words yet.

It was a pleasure to see the family and reconnect with that side of the family. I loved showing off my husband and daughters, learning some history and listening to Uncle Paul. Chris and Stephanie - thank you for hosting this and for keeping up the land you're on!

I love this picture of Grammy and her remaining siblings. All are wonderful and so kind.

Finally, an updated photo of Grammy's brood!

Why I'm doing this

My hopes for this blog are to give my kids a context to their childhood. I don't know for how long I'll be around and if I don't have tomorrow, I want them to have my perspective to understand today as much as possible. I hope that tomorrow comes and I get another day with my family, but I do not take life for granted. My father's unexpected death affirmed there are no guarantees, so as a practice I don't leave things like, "I love you because..." unsaid. It's too important to not say it now. I do not imagine the future because whatever happens will happen. All I have is today and that is what I am grateful for.

Like most people, I'm both simple and complex. I've had a colorful life so far, full of horrors and immense joy. My attitude has been extremes of positive and negative with every point between. I have done things on my own terms, but learned to let people guide me. I've seen anguish, faced my fears and allowed myself to be loved. I have forgiven people who have hurt me deeply. (Say what you need to say and say it for the right reason. Let go of the pain.) Freedom is the sweetest part of forgiveness and my life is wholly free.

My hope is that the girls will have the same appreciation for this life as I have. I also hope they don't follow my path to learn that gratitude. (It's a wonder to not only me that I did survive.) I hope that they don't share my painful experiences, but still have the strength to learn from whatever life befalls them. I want to continue teaching them that kindness and empathy are two of the greatest gifts in the world and to share it with others. I hope they are comfortable being alone and create their own family of choice with wonderful people. People who love and accept them without pretense. I hope I'm included in that choice, as my mother is in mine. My life is full and I am present in the moment, right where I should be.

A busy day with visits to the dentist and Grammy's house

Today was an adventure! The girls did a wonderful job at the dentist today! Daddy took them since I had to go to work this morning. He was very impressed that neither kid was fidgety and tolerated everything! Dental hygiene is hugely important to me because as a kid I didn't take care of my teeth and to say it was painful is an understatement. I want it to be better for them so we take care of our teeth. As demonstrated by their behavior today, dental checkups are not scary and we don't dread them. Both Daddy and I are very proud of our kids!

After the dentist, they went to Grammy's house for lunch. My kids came home with bags of glass knick-knacks and many were broken periodically today. Grammy knew I would not appreciate it, but told me that she has a hard time saying, "No" to her granddaughters. Hmmm, I had already figured that out. Though Grammy and I don't always agree on what her granddaughters should have and not have, they greatly benefit from time with their Grammy. She is a character (Auntie She calls her a "trip".) and I love her.

Once the girls and I got home, we stayed in for the night. "Toy Story 2" was picked to watch yet again and we cleaned the house. Sofia made an adorable mess of herself cleaning the shower and Samantha cleaned (including dusting!) her room. She found an earring of mine that was recently lost and was so happy! Maybe this means Samantha will follow the steps of her often neat-freak mother.

Samantha's day with Nana (and Anna) as American Girls

Nana got to spend the day with Samantha today. They took Samantha's doll (named Anna Samantha) to the American Girl store for lunch, did some shopping and rode some rides. Here is the story from that Nana wrote:

I had the nicest day with her. She is a rare treasure. What made the day for me was when she was in the dressing room by herself. The room is geared for kids with a port hole they open from the inside so that you can look in. Sam said that's in case you are naked so people can't see you like that, only the grown up you are with. But anyway, she opened the port hole and wanted me to lean in and she whispered to me, "Nana, I love you so much". My heart just melted. She picked out her own clothes in the store and I thought since the skirt was short that she should get some leggings with it too. But I think she was equally excited with the bag that had her name on it. She thought that was pretty neat. I knew she was tired from all the walking, etc. so I knew it was time to go home. Samantha had a good snooze in the car on the way home. She is truly beautiful inside and out.

A breakthrough for Sofia

Miss Sofia has been very difficult this week. She has been physically acting out with me and at daycare. I've been struggling most of the week dealing with what I now believe are symptoms of her problem. My analytic nature kicked in and I think I finally understand it. Her problem specifically is routine disruption. However, the assaults cannot continue and it's not realistic to expect her to learn from a constant timeout. The root cause of her issues this week came out when I asked her if she missed Daddy (who is traveling). Sofie stopped what she was doing, her lower lip came out and she said, "Yes". I asked her if she wanted to call and tell him that. With the lip still out, she nodded. We got the phone and I explained to Daddy that Sofia had something to tell him. She stammered, "I want you... to be over... here... right now." Daddy told her he was glad that she told him, that he missed her to and that he wished they were together.

Since that conversation, Sofia has been acting like she's two years old. Appropriately frustrating, hilarious and a fabulous kid. I guess we had a breakthrough!

It ain't easy...

Parenting is hard. It's about sacrifice and loving someone almost more than you love yourself. The grownups are responsible for showing the kids how to navigate the world and for teaching them ways to cope and succeed when things don't go their way. Parenting is patience, empathy and involvement. It's taxing when I have a marriage, a full-time job, friends and enjoy having a bit of time to myself, but when you add in children (especially young ones) life is exhausting. It's an adventure and one I wouldn't trade for anything.


At the same time, being a parent is hugely rewarding. My babies grew in my belly and when I gave birth to them, it was an amazing experience. I didn't know that I could love someone that much. I have an intense need to savor every moment. The honor of being not just a mother, but their mom is unparalleled. The way they love me (and Daddy) brings me a joy that I didn't know I was capable of. The sound of their laughter is my favorite sound in the world.


Their trust and smiles is hugely important to me. I am aware that I have to earn that trust, both as an example of kind behavior and because I want to be worthy of their trust. My girls are strong and when they get knocked down, they get up just like their parents. We are all truly blessed to be a family.


It's not a recent pic, but I love it because it's just us relaxing.

Another girls day, but with an ice cream truck!

Daddy was out and about with his friends, so it was another girls day for us. We had a good time! We met the Ficenec's at a local splash park this morning and went out to lunch.

Then we returned home for some quiet time. Though everyone was tired, no one got any rest. I gave up the battle and we took Fonzie for a walk. Sofie wasn't up for riding her bike like Sam and she promptly fell asleep in the stroller. We were just getting back when we noticed the ice cream truck. I was very proud that Samantha asked politely and was happy to oblige. We got Sofie a Bomb Pop for when she woke up and spent the next hour calling her "Bluey" since her face and hands were stained blue.

I was excited myself since I have no recollection of every getting anything from an ice cream truck. In other words, this was another instance of me getting to experience being a kid by having kids. No, I don't live vicariously through them, but every once in a while it's fun to have share their innocent attitude about life. That is why I look at life as an adventure.

A couple of conversational highlights from today...

Mom: "Wash your hands now please!"

Sam: "But Mom, I just have to pet Fonzie because he's so cute!"

Mom: "Are you done with your ice cream Bluey?"

Sofie: "I'm blue and sticky."