My hopes for this blog are to give my kids a context to their childhood. I don't know for how long I'll be around and if I don't have tomorrow, I want them to have my perspective to understand today as much as possible. I hope that tomorrow comes and I get another day with my family, but I do not take life for granted. My father's unexpected death affirmed there are no guarantees, so as a practice I don't leave things like, "I love you because..." unsaid. It's too important to not say it now. I do not imagine the future because whatever happens will happen. All I have is today and that is what I am grateful for.
Like most people, I'm both simple and complex. I've had a colorful life so far, full of horrors and immense joy. My attitude has been extremes of positive and negative with every point between. I have done things on my own terms, but learned to let people guide me. I've seen anguish, faced my fears and allowed myself to be loved. I have forgiven people who have hurt me deeply. (Say what you need to say and say it for the right reason. Let go of the pain.) Freedom is the sweetest part of forgiveness and my life is wholly free.
My hope is that the girls will have the same appreciation for this life as I have. I also hope they don't follow my path to learn that gratitude. (It's a wonder to not only me that I did survive.) I hope that they don't share my painful experiences, but still have the strength to learn from whatever life befalls them. I want to continue teaching them that kindness and empathy are two of the greatest gifts in the world and to share it with others. I hope they are comfortable being alone and create their own family of choice with wonderful people. People who love and accept them without pretense. I hope I'm included in that choice, as my mother is in mine. My life is full and I am present in the moment, right where I should be.
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