Friday, August 29, 2008

Is it OK to be proud?

Does everybody feel this way about their parenting skills? Are you "allowed" to smile and say that you're proud of your parenting (and coping) skills? It seems like a constant struggle - like having a healthy body image. How many women can say that they are at peace, even content with their body? How many moms do you know that say they are a good mom without any trepidation? It's so easy to get in the habit of saying, "I'm not patient enough, I don't relax enough, I'm too xxxx or I don't xxxx enough". Ugh! Enough with the negativity! Perfection is not realistic and it's not what I want to teach my kids!

I'm not the perfect mom, wife or friend. I'm certainly not the best employee because I'm at the office writing this. I love my kids and I show them every day that I love them. I hug my girls and look them in the eye when I say, "I love you so much". I am specific about one thing (at least) when I tell my daughter how proud I am of her. I read to them often, sit on the floor and hang with them, let them climb over me and (try) not react too strongly when they step on my fingers with dress-up shoes on. I'm engaged with my kids most of the time and I acknowledge it's not all of the time. I think part of what I have to teach them is that you don't get to focus on one thing all of the time - that life requires maintenance (clean clothes, gas in the car, food in the fridge, you get the idea). I'm letting both girls learn to entertain themselves and showing them a world of adventure by trying new things and being honest when I don't know how something will turn out, but it's the journey to cherish and not the result. I don't hide every disappointment because life doesn't work that way and my job as "Mommy" is simply this:

Prepare them to handle the world on their own.

(Of course as long as Mom and Dad are around, we'll be there to help them get up after a fall!)

No comments: