A nice time with family on Easter

Nana, Papa, Grammy, Bill, Leana, John and Pat (Leana's folks) came to our house for lunch today.  It was a relaxing time and I loved watching the girls (especially Sofia) play with their Uncle Bill. 

It was nice to catch up with everyone.  Grammy brought John's photo albums that we looked through and read some of the cards that people have sent.  She found a letter that I wrote to John when I was 7 years old and he was away at college which was unexpected, but I'm glad to have it.

Daddy was off this afternoon on another trip for a few days.  After he left, we spent the afternoon outside playing with neighbors and having a great time with bubbles.  Daddy is always missed when he is gone, but the girls and I do our best.  We are extremely blessed to be loved and to love so many in our life!

Fine dining with Samantha and Sofia

We took the opportunity to take Grammy and the girls to a fine dining restaurant (actually steakhouse).  Daddy and I had no expectations and discussed leaving if it became necessary.  I did some role-playing with both Samantha and Sofia to clarify what was okay and what wasn't.  I pretended to be the server and quizzed them on what polite responses were.  No, it is not okay to yell...  The only food you eat with your fingers is the bread...  Silverware is for putting food in your mouth... You know, the kind of stuff you don't think to explain to your kid and than act befuddled that they just don't seem to know that making a fort under the table isn't a great idea.

This is our self-portraits on the way to the restaurant.

As for the actual dinner...  The girls were not into it but tolerated it well!  (I bribed them by promising to play their "Shopkeeper" game and be a frequent customer.)  I thanked everyone at the restaurant for indulging me and I promise it will be many, many years before I suggest it again.

Happy Passover!

We didn't make it to our family seder this year since Sofia was sick on Monday.  With Irving's passing so recent, it was doubly strange to not attend.  Daddy was gone for the first few days and the commitments of my job and single parenting just took over so we didn't do much in the way of observance.  I would like to learn more of Judaism and bring the girls along on my journey.  I enjoy it.  However, all we did this year was read some stories and that's okay.  If that's all we ever do, then that's okay too.  We are living our lives and our family continues to love each other very much!

John's Memorial

Today was the memorial for my brother John. He left us a week ago and I doubt he realized the impact he had. John was a teacher, coach, advisor and a friend to many. At one point, there was a line out the door of people who wanted to pay their respects to Bill, myself and our mother. It was incredibly comforting to hear directly from his students the encouragement John gave them, as well as colleagues that received mentoring and friendship from him.

There are many questions that we'll never get the answers for, including why couldn't he ask for help instead of choosing his way. But John wasn't a man who compromised. He gave his entire self to his passions and spent his life on those passions, helping those around him while never asking for, nor accepting help. If you were pushing yourself he would back you up and if he suspected you weren't pushing hard enough, John would let you know.

I'm sorry that my kids and my husband never knew him, but I find solace in all the lives he touched and that he was able to give himself even in death through organ donation. While I hope to never go through this ordeal again, I'm so grateful for today because it allowed all who attended to take comfort and keep living.

Love is all that matters. Keep that in your life and you can truly live.

A trip to see King Tut and a picnic

Today Auntie She came by for an outing. We headed to the Mississippi River for a picnic due to the wonderful weather and to see the flood waters, the hallmarks of spring. Then we went to the Science Museum for some play and to see the King Tut exhibit. Samantha learned quite a bit about Ancient Egypt in preschool so it was interesting for her. It was a good day and a break from all the grieving that our family has been dealing with. Especially with this picture!

Another Life Ends

Last Friday I received horrible news. It was the kind of call that no one wants to get. My brother (John) was gone by his own hand. He was mostly estranged from the family and never met Daddy or Sofia. Samantha saw him once at a funeral when she was 10 months old. That was the last time my other brother, Bill and I saw him. This is painful on a level I can't yet describe and I am not going to try. Maybe it's strange, but upon returning home all I wanted (after a shower) was to play with my kids. We had a few neighbor kids over and had Nana, Papa and Wendy join us for dinner. It feels good to live. I am so grateful to have family and friends to support me... thank you!

Life without Irving

Irving has died at the age of 96. We think he's in heaven playing cards and holding hands with Rose (his wife). I cannot imagine all the changes he saw in the world during his time here, but he took them all in stride. He was Daddy's beloved grandfather and a wonderful great-grandfather to our girls. Irving was a mentor to Daddy, who delivered a heartfelt eulogy. I'm sure Samantha will remember him and I think Sofia will too. Irving was the kindest soul I have ever met. He just loved and didn't worry about things out of his control. He always had a smile and watched his great-grandchildren with pure joy. That's what I appreciated most. Irving will be missed and we will continue to love him for all time.
  This is what Daddy said about Irving at his service:

17 years ago I was at a cross roads in my life. I wasn’t doing well in college, my friends were dropping out or graduating and I wasn’t sure what to do. I sat down with my grandfather and told him how I felt and that I was thinking of leaving school. As was his way, he just listened to me and when I was through he told me what a big mistake I was making. He encouraged me to focus on the end result, to persevere and complete what I started. So I did, and I’m forever grateful for the talk we had that afternoon.

That was Irving and the role he filled in my life as well as many others.  He was part of the greatest generation as they’ve been called – serving his country in World War II even though it meant missing the birth of my father. He and I used to talk about all of the technological advancements he’d seen in his life. It always used to amaze him to see, and sometimes even use, some of the handheld technology that I or my kids had. I even remember Todd and I getting him to play video games with us when we were kids. He wasn’t very good at them, but he did it anyway and he had fun with it.

He was a truly honest man – one of the few I’ve ever met in my life. As a man of few words sometimes, you still always knew how he felt. He’d give you anything he had if he thought you needed it more than he did. He never expected anything in return. That’s the person he was.

I remember when my brother and I were growing up thinking it was so strange to have grandparents that were so involved in our lives. Most of our friends didn’t have grandparents that were as involved in their lives as ours were and I think it amazed them too. He was always off of work on Tuesday afternoons and if we had a baseball game, or if there was a Twins Knot Hole Day at the dome or sometimes if it was just a nice day to go fishing, you knew he’d be there.  He’d even bring along our friends sometimes and treated them just like they were his grandkids too. I see that now in the relationship my parents have with their grandchildren – those examples and shared experiences with him have now moved to the next generation. He was a true example of kindness and generosity that you just don’t see every day.  He loved model railroading and I loved spending time in the basement with him constructing sets and fixing existing ones. I remember the day he was trying to repair a train he had knocked off the table and while I was helping him fix it he super-glued my fingers together. I remember when we realized what happened, he told me I would just have one gigantic finger for the rest of my life. Thankfully, Grandma had some nail polish remover and a few choice words I won’t repeat but that were stated with a smile on her face.

I feel very fortunate that he was here to meet his great grandchildren and develop a relationship with them. He was always interested in their activities and what they were into next. I remember when my oldest daughter Samantha was born, he came to the hospital to see her that afternoon. Watching him hold her, I remember thinking about the cycle starting over and all of the things he would do with her that he did with Todd and I growing up. I remember feeling happy that he would now be a role model for her and future great grandchildren to come; passing on his knowledge and enthusiasm for life to the next generation.

I believe we can all learn something from the life of my grandfather. He displayed the character traits that truly exemplify honesty, kindness and true acceptance of anyone. I wish there were more people like him in this world.

So at this point, I’d like to say thank you to him. Thank you for all of those baseball games, for those Tuesday afternoons fishing at Lake Calhoun, and for those Sunday afternoons watching football, building trains and super-gluing my fingers together. Thank you for that day 17 years ago when you pointed me back in the right direction and thank you for the examples you set and the role you played in all of our lives. Our entire family is grateful for having you in our lives and we’ll miss you dearly.

I know where ever he is right now, he’s with Grandma Rose and that’s the one place he’d really want to be.