Adventures with my daughters and their friends

I was gone for a business trip all of last week.  Daddy did great single-parenting all week and there were no problems.  The grandparents all helped out too.  We really are blessed to have all the support we do.  I missed my family so much travelling, but it was good to know they're fine without me.  It was wonderful to have everyone pick me up from the airport, so thanks for making that happen!

I was so happy to be home... I forgot how lonely the road can be.

Yesterday we rode our bikes for a picnic at a park.  It was cold and windy, but we still made it fun playing games.  Then I took Samantha to the library and out to a bookstore.  We spent the rest of the day simply relaxing.

Today we began the day with some relaxation and a bike ride to tire Ely out.  Then I took the girls and their friends to a nearby zoo.  There were 5 girls total and they were all fantastic.  After we dropped the last friend off, the girls and I talked about the challenges and what we'll do differently next time.  I was really impressed with everyone's behavior as well as my own.  We ran out of time, but we all had fun and got plenty of exercise walking around.

November 2012

We began the month with conferences at Samantha's school.  Daddy made it home just in time.  It's obvious to everyone that Samantha loves school and is doing very well!

Happy Birthday to Bill!  We hope you liked your video song from the girls!

Grammy stayed late to be a character in a play that Samantha needed performers for.  As Samantha was explaining the plot, she looked me in the eyes and affirmed that she was in charge.  Thankfully she wasn't mean about it, it was very sweet!  I recorded some video that showcases her directing ability that we've been watching over and over again.  It's a great memory!

I started my new job!  I keep reminding myself to be patient and that it takes energy to process change.  It's necessary that I make an effort to take some time for myself.  I got a little time with some friends and I appreciate that, even though I'm sad I missed time at the zoo with Jordan and Dylan.  Daddy took pictures though and everyone wore themselves out!

The girls and I went to a fundraiser at Samantha's school.  There was plenty of music for dancing and running around!  Everyone was exhausted by the end of the night.  This is the best shot from the night since they couldn't stand still for a decent picture!

Daddy took some time with Sofia and they hung out at an arcade with a friend of Daddy's and his 2 sons.  Sofia loved it and came home with lots of stuff from the claw game.

We had conferences at preschool for Sofia too!  She is a leader and is progressing a lot on reading.  We are so proud of her!

The photo above is Sofia holding a friend's new baby.  Mazel tov to Adam!  Daddy finally got to take both girls to see the baby.  I think they've been enjoying spending more time with Daddy lately and I'm glad to see it!

Let them be who they are

I often tell people that I have no control over my children.  I couldn't make them stop kicking me in the womb so why would I delude myself into thinking I can make them do anything now?  All I can do is model the behavior I want to see from them and know them well enough to see what's coming if I don't get them out of a situation.

There is a cliche in self-help programs referred to HALT.  It's a signal to never let yourself get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely or too Tired.  Everyone will start to fall apart when they hit those breakpoints.  Think about it... it's the beginning of desperation, which leads to those things you can't ever take back.

Our children are kind, caring and full of enthusiasm for life!  They love each other and are sisters, meaning they are the best of friends and the worst of enemies.  They miss each other, but savor the time away from their sister.  A little adventure alone is a good thing and necessary to everyone's sanity.

Today we spent a calm day as a family.  We played games, read some books and did gymnastics.  The girls held hands in the car as we went to Nana and Papa's house for dinner to enjoy some extended family time.  The kids loved seeing their cousins as usual and tonight Ashley was there too.  She commented on how intelligent and observant Samantha is, and how Sofia and Samantha's personalities are so opposite.  Sofia is free with her affections and has no fear of jumping in while Samantha prefers to watch the dynamic initially, though she has no fear either.  They are so different, but in our family they complement each other well.

It's a good thing and I am proud to say that I have no control over my children!

Random fun things

Culver's Night with friends (the 2nd time we've pulled it off with these friends!)

Lots of baking, especially cookies. 

They each got a hand to paint and could not decide on a color.

Just playing with their "kids"...

Child labor in our backyard

I put the kids in the yard waste can to stomp down the leaves.  They enjoyed it!

Now you see them...

Now you don't.

A sisterly game

This is a short video I managed to get during one of our many snowy evenings. The girls were eating cupcakes for dessert and Sofie was playfully teasing Samantha, who happily played along. For this moment at least, they were two sisters enjoying each other.

Bonus - I finally got Sofia's laugh recorded!

A good night and good morning

Daddy was gone a couple of nights this week. The girls and I hunkered down for a night at home. They taught me how to play, "Tag Hide and Seek". Sam especially enjoyed demonstrating it for me. We were all active, but relaxed. It was a night without tempers or tantrums. No one lost their patience and I thoroughly stayed in the moment all night. I'll admit it's an ongoing struggle to be present consistently and ignore the distractions of housework, laundry and technology. I ignored everything and just played with my kids. I think they had as much fun as I did. We also had an amazingly smooth morning, again with no tempers flaring or crabbiness.


Watching my girls interact is always interesting. They are sisters - something I have no experience with. Samantha and Sofia seem to either really love or despise each other. From what I hear, that's standard behavior in the way of sisters. I think I'm okay with not knowing what having a sister is like, especially during my girl's epic battles!

First snow of the season

It started snowing last night and hasn't stopped yet. The girls and I went out to play this morning. Sofie loved eating the snow, which is fine because we discussed that yellow (or any colored snow) is not okay to touch. I shoveled a bit and pulled the girls around in our sled. When Daddy came out to start the driveway, the whole family had a snowball fight. That was hilarious and fun even when Daddy got me in the face! Oh well, better me to get hit than the kids!

This afternoon both girls went to a friend's birthday party with a princess theme. They had a blast! Samantha was commended as the most polite and Sofia actually went potty on the toilet! It's always fun to hear good things all around!

Tonight we honored another tradition: a meal consisting only of finger food. It's a nice contrast to all the sugar the girls consumed at the party today!

Bartering

Both girls are great at negotiation. They use their skills with mostly Daddy and me (not to mention their grandparents), but yesterday Samantha used her skills at the mall. We met Nana and Papa for rides and ice cream. On our way to the car, we passed by a face painting station. I didn't have enough cash to pay the posted price and I was honest with Samantha about that. I told her she could ask the lady if they could do something else. Sam was very polite and of course got herself and her sister sparkling pink hearts. Way to go Sam! I was so impressed! I told her that I was very proud of her.

Thanks to Nana and Papa for a great afternoon!

The empathy of Samantha

I usually have one day (at least) where the stress of the “Sometime Single Parenting” takes over. Daddy is gone this week. Activities/extra commitments add to the list of things that must be done ON TIME. Last night was one of those days where I was just gritting my teeth trying to get through the list. At the very end of the night both girls were firing requests/questions like machine-guns at me. “Can I have some milk?”, “Can we play Uno?”, “We should dance!”, “I don’t want to take a bath!”, and “Can we watch something?” are some, but not all examples. I finally cracked and yelled, “AHHH”! The girls stopped and looked at me uncertainly. I then explained I’m not perfect and I’m doing the best I can do. It was comical from one standpoint, but I was overwhelmed and I didn’t hide it. I told them that I was sorry. Here’s what happened next:

Sam: Mom, I think you need a big hug.
Mom: That would be really nice sweetie, thank you.
Sam: I love you so much Mommy!
Mom: I love you too, I can’t tell you what a honor it is to be your mom. I’m really lucky to have you as my daughter.

We then discussed how no one is perfect… not her or her sister, not me or Daddy, not Nana or Papa or Grammy, etc. (She listed approximately 25 people in total.) It was a fun conversation with the focus on trying to be good and accepting that we’ll never be perfect.

Samantha and Sofia see my flaws, but they see me pick myself up after a stumble. They see me apologize or talk about why I chose something over a different option. I love that they see it even if they don’t always understand it. It’s important to me to give them a realistic view of the world. Both girls are extraordinarily smart and observant and hiding my humanity (for lack of a better term) is not an option. In all, I really am honored to be their mom and grateful they accept me for me. I hope I succeed in reciprocating that.

Circus

Today we went to the Circus! It was the first time for me as well as the girls and we all had an adventure! There were tigers, elephants, acrobats, horses and various acts. I especially enjoyed the trained sheepdogs in the car! (C'mon, how often do you get to say that in life?). I think they were the equivalent of the clowns. The girls each got a pony ride during intermission and plenty of snacks too.

There was an act where motorcycles rode along the high wire. As soon as Samantha saw it her mouth dropped open and stayed open until I asked her what she was thinking. It was comical and I wish I could share a picture of it!

As we were walking out, Sofie looked at me beaming and said, "I loved watching the elephants!". Her face was pure joy and that was one reason we went. The other reason was Samantha. I love these adventures with them!

You can see the excitement building in the pictures we took before heading out!

/>

Zoo time

Recent Saturdays have been trips to the zoo with the kids. I took them today (so Daddy could get some stuff done) and Daddy took them last week (so I could shop for clothes that actually fit with a friend). The kids were extremely well-behaved both days and we had a great time!

Here are some highlights:

Bits and pieces

On a recent Sunday morning, Daddy took the girls out to the park so I could focus on a work task and get organized. Samantha had the idea to get me flowers, so they all came home with a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses. What a fantastic kid! I am so proud of her kindness. She is really a wonderful girl.

Last week Daddy was lecturing Samantha about standing up for herself to her sister. Sofia is two years old and she doesn't always understand sharing, so this has been an issue. Samantha was saying she didn't want the toy Sofia took from her, but Daddy explained the principle is important. Sam looked around and said, "I don't see the principal... like at school?" Ah, innocence.

Sofia is talking non-stop and has hit the "why not?" phase. Every question she asks that is answered with "No", her response is, "Why not?" This will continue until Sofia is satisfied with the answer. It's at times challenging, crazy and it's all good.

Playing house

One of my favorite activities is to listen to my girls play together. Right now they are playing house, with Sofie as the kid and Samantha as the mom. It's usually very insightful for me to gauge what kind of mother I am. So far, so good... Sam is being patient and very clear about her expectations. Right or wrong, doesn't that sound familiar?

Happy New Year (Goodbye 2009)

Daddy and I have never spent New Year's Eve with our kids. Nana and Papa have kept them every year and the girls always have fun. This year the girls went with Nana and Papa to a hotel with a pool to stay the night. Sofie had her tube suit and Sam got to show everyone her swimming skills before dinner. They had a ball and loved it! We'll see if it becomes a tradition or not. Who knows, maybe next year we'll actually spend it with our kids!

Pumpkins!

We kept up with our fall tradition of carving pumpkins and munching on the pumpkin seeds. The girls enjoyed watching their parents do all the work and the entire night was fun! Witness Sam's presenting Daddy's hard work.




This picture I had to include because it's beautiful and captures the sweetness and joy in my kids. We are so blessed.

Boat ride

Last week we went to another friend's house for dinner. They live off a nearby lake and took us for a ride on their boat which was a first for both Samantha and Sofia. It was a gorgeous evening filled with good company and beautiful weather. Our friends have two girls close in age to our girls. Sam and Ella attend the same preschool, so they were happy to see each other and play! All the kids enjoyed announcing the ducks and I only wish I would have brought a camera to capture them in their life jackets.


Here is a little shot that Daddy took of our wonderful and extremely lovable monsters!

Last night

Last night turned out to be a comedy of errors that began before 2am. It began with Sofie's crying waking Sam up. As I rose to get Sofie, Sam came in and said, "Mom, Sofie needs you." Sam then asked to sleep with Daddy and I. (That doesn't happen often and I realize that these days will be over before I'm ready, so I was inclined to say yes.) Since Sofie doesn't easily return to her crib at night, it was the entire family in our bed for about one hour until I gave up on the girls settling down. I did not want the girls to keep Daddy up because he deserves a good night's sleep occasionally! It was nearly 3am when we headed to the basement for another attempt at rest. We tried many variations before finally crashing after 4am. All of us on the couch, Sam on the mats, Sofie in the chair, Sam in the chair with other requests for light and a drink thrown in. Sofie also enjoyed a bit of playtime which I quickly stopped when I thought we finally had the sleeping positions worked out.

It was hilarious... I felt as if I was living a sitcom episode hearing laughs from the live studio audience. That may have come from too much sleep deprivation this week though. I didn't lose patience with them and for that I am grateful. I don't think I would be if nights like that were a regular thing, but it was funny even in the moment!

Aw...

This was taken a recent weekend day where we picked up food and headed to a park for a picnic and playtime... it was a fun day! We try to make the most of our family time. We don't need to do special things all the time, but I am the most relaxed when we are all together!

Freeze Dance

One of my favorite things about this stage of our family life is watching Sofia imitate Samantha and us. She's relatively programmable and it's hilarious to do. We had a ball with Sam at this stage too! Last night the girls and I did the "Hokey-Pokey" on our deck. Everyone was smiling and having fun. (Another serene moment for me!)


Here is a clip of Sam teaching Sofia how to play "Freeze Dance"... it was so cute to watch!




Have I mentioned how grateful I am that my family is healthy and happy?