Summer Activities Wind Down

Throughout the summer, camp has been a big deal.

Many thanks to Nana and Papa for taking the girls for a day each week! 

Here are some highlights from the summer camps and programs...

 

Samantha was supposed to go to zoo camp with a friend of hers, but it didn't work out.  Since Sofia was sad that she didn't go to camp, Daddy took her to the zoo the last morning. 

 

Scary T-Rex!

You've got to love this one!

Magical moments

Our family drives each other crazy, which doesn't seem to be unusual.  Being tired and consequently cranky, having too many things on the calendar, and even this never-ending winter are typical reasons for this perpetual annoyance to the other people who live in our house.  We all are culprits and we all get the receiving end.  At least there is balance!

Here are the top annoyances for me by inhabitant:
- Trying to talk to Samantha when she's reading and not doing what she's supposed to, i.e. getting dressed in the morning, or getting ready for bed... do what needs to be done first, then read!
- Teaching Sofia that when I say that you can watch 1 episode of TV means that you turn the TV off when that episode it done... just turn it off and come back to this world!  (This is also why she doesn't watch much television at all.)
- Hoping/Praying/Pleading to any Divine Being that Daddy gets some sleep so he will be patient with life and all its inconveniences the following day.
- Seriously Ely... stop with the towels/sunglasses/gloves already!  Isn't there another way to say something is bothering you?  (Yes, it could be so much worse!)

As for what the family thinks about me, I'm guessing my tendency to shut down and become a grimacing robot to cope would top the list.  I'm working on it and communicating.  I own it, but that doesn't mean I'm proud of it.

BUT...

I've been mindful of the many magical moments I have with my family.  Like having my arm around Samantha as we walked into the grocery store laughing.  Or waking up to hear Sofia walk into my bedroom in the morning with a huge smile and some snuggle time.  And the many moments with Daddy on our trip.

Life is balance and while I'm aware of the annoyances, I focus on the happier moments.  I love my family and work very hard to be a relatively stable wife and mother.  I can be cynical, but overall project a positive vibe into the world.  I look people in the eye and smile.  It's good.

I've been having LOTS of talks with the girls on treating people the way you want to be treated.  Yes, the Golden Rule.  We talk about how even if someone isn't nice, you are to be nice because that's how you want people to treat you.  I know my message is getting through because both girls are saying it back to me.  That alone makes for another magical moment in my life.

A letter to my Dad

It's been 13 years since you passed on to whatever comes after this life.  You are missed.  I struggle to describe you to my children.  Words just don't do you justice, it seems impossible to relate your essence to them.  You were bigger than life, though that's a common perspective of a daughter to have.  I share my stories that highlight your sense of humor and the girls listen, but it's not enough to convey how fun and crazy you could be.  There is a part of you that lives in me and in my daughters and that is a comfort.

I don't pretend that you were perfect because there were times you were horrible and I wanted nothing to do with you.  I'm forever grateful that I put aside the anger and built a relationship with you.  I still have the card you made me out of duct tape after we began speaking again.  I think it's comical that cribbage was our neutral place to meet and that rarely am I beat playing the game to this day.  I can't watch "Wheel of Fortune" without thinking of you in your den.  I think it would've been awesome to take you skydiving like we planned.  You would've been hooked as much as I was!

I miss you even more now that John is gone, though I'm glad you didn't have to experience that loss.  I'm grateful I'm never alone the way he was, whether it was circumstance or choice.  

I wonder what you would say about my life, and I think you'd be curious about my life in the city (though I'm in the suburbs).  I know my girls would have you wrapped around their fingers and you'd enjoy them.  I mostly believe that you would be proud of me.  I still love adventure and I'll fight if I have to.  I've grown up enough to realize that I don't have to share every opinion and actions speak louder than words.  I run free and learn new things daily.  I've learned time is always short so you have to appreciate those special moments when they happen.  I'm still learning the finer points of gardening and am slowly unlocking the farm girl inside.  My arms are still strong from the summers you made me move hay bales.  

You taught me about choosing happiness, so thanks Dad.  I love you.  And I miss you so much.

Update on Sofia

We had her last preschool conference this week!  All is good, though we need to focus some energy on being nice even when another kid isn't nice to you.  It's appropriate behavior, but it needs to be corrected.  Academically speaking, she is reading at a second grade level.  In any case, we love her and are incredibly proud.

Yesterday she lost another tooth at school.  This is what she said, "The tooth fell out and then it was on my tongue and then I swallowed it".  The tooth fairy visited last night in spite of not having "proof" and Sofia was excited once she remembered to check her bed.

We visited what will become her classroom once kindergarten begins this fall.  Sofia loved being able to ride the bus and explore the school.  She was a little shy with the principal, but I don't think that will last long.

And here we are enjoying a breakfast out of her own... While I'm not always proud of her table manners, it was a nice outing for us and I just love that kid.

Sofia and Ely, mortality and a surprise

Last Saturday night was a relaxed night at home.  Daddy was watching football in the basement, I was organizing, Samantha was reading and playing in her room.  Sofia was also playing in her room with Ely sleeping on her bed.  Suddenly Sofia came to me looking very sad and with tears rolling down her face.  She told me that Ely wouldn't open his eyes and bit her lip, unable to say the words, "I think he's dead".  Sofia had tried to open Ely's eyes and since the dog sleeps so hard, he just stayed asleep in spite of her messing with him.

We ended up talking about Fonzie and how everyone eventually dies, but that Ely probably won't pass any time soon.  I shared that it's okay to miss those that have died and that it's good to remember them.  We talk about Great-Grandpa Irving, Fonzie and my dad.  We also talked about being kind while we are alive and that we are lucky to have so many people who love us and the time we get to spend with them.

I've always been honest with my kids, probably due to the effects of losing my dad as a young adult. Life is short and fragile, so I continually choose to make the most of the time I have.  There is no guarantee of tomorrow, but to be honest it made me sad and proud to have Sofia come to me so concerned about our dog.  Sad because it's a hard truth to face and proud because she wasn't fighting it - she was feeling grief.   Hopefully we will be around a long time for more fun and more conversations.  For now, we are just grateful for today.


On another note, I noticed something missing from Sofia as I was helping her brush her teeth.  She lost a tooth without even realizing it and this is the result!

Winter Break 2012

Winter Break is finally here!

We began our break with family games on the Wii.  There was plenty of crafting and laziness.  I got to purge some unneeded items from the house. (The Virgo in me loves that!)  We picked up some gifts and things for ourselves on Saturday which was our only venture outside of the house.

Sunday was comprised mostly of the girls and I making cake pops.  It was about 4 hours to complete them!  Samantha had the idea of making holiday bags for the neighbors, so on Monday we put them together and both girls delivered them to all the houses on our street.  Both Daddy and I are very proud of her to be so giving and thoughtful.

Adam (Daddy's friend from kindergarten) brought his girlfriend and new baby over for dinner on Christmas Eve.  We ate a wonderful dinner with Grammy and all got plenty of turns to hold baby Caleb.  Ely was very good as well!

Tuesday we kept it low-key excepting some craziness trying to fix Nana's printer and sledding down a very large hill near Grammy's house.  The hill was too big to risk putting Ely on the sled so he enjoyed a stroll and was very concerned watching his "people" go down the hill!  The Chinese food we got for dinner was yummy too!

I worked at home the rest of the week while Daddy ran the girls around with errands and shopping, Sofia had a friend over and our summer nanny Lindsay stopped by too!  Both girls were so excited to see her and it was nice for all of us to catch up.

Then Lily came over for some playtime.

 Daddy also took the girls for another sledding adventure.

I'm happy I got to play lots of games with the girls, Daddy got a lot done outside the house and we all played the Wii.  Ely got to go to "camp" twice this week and loves it there.  We relish having a tired and happy dog!

On Friday, Daddy took the girls to a movie.  You can see them in their glasses below.  That night, Samantha went to a friend's sleepover birthday party.  She was so excited to finally have some friend time!  Sofia was indulged with another trip to Chucky Cheese's with both her parents followed by some cuddle time with Daddy during a movie.

Samantha came home from her sleepover Saturday morning and then Uncle Todd and Aunt Shelly brought their kids over.  Jordan and Dylan had a ball playing with the rocket launcher Sofia got for Hanukkah from Samantha.  Dylan did a great job dancing to the Wii too!

Daddy went to the last Vikings game of their season while I took the girls to Grammy's house for dinner.  Uncle Bill and Leana joined us with her mom, Pat and it was a relaxing and good meal.  Sofia stayed with Grammy overnight while I took Samantha to a movie and spent some time on our own.  Samantha is growing up so fast and I see a wonderful young lady in her.

On Monday I worked at home and Daddy took the girls to Papa and Nana's to keep our New Year's tradition.  (We've never spent the new year with either of our kids.)  The girls got to go to a hotel for swimming and loved their room.  I'm grateful that they get to have these experiences with Papa and Nana!

December 2012

We started off the month with Daddy and I planning a trip, me holiday shopping with Sofia while Samantha had a friend over, followed by Daddy getting sick and me taking the girls to meet friends downtown for the Holidazzle parade.  It was chaotic navigating due to my interpretation of Daddy's directions, but we got where we needed to go.  The grownups didn't see much of the parade, but the kids all enjoyed it!

There was wacky hair day at Samantha's school so we twisted her hair up.

We also had a lot of leisure time when Ely would cuddle with whomever was lying around. 

During our first big snowstorm of the season, the girls and I played outside for hours.  Ely's reaction was funny and playful.  I made a snowman that turned into a gymnast when the weather warmed up.  "Frosty" (as Sofia calls it), is now stuck in a back bend/bridge since he fell over.

Both of our girls participated in their gymnastics winter meet.  They are scored on their routines and compete against all other kids in their level.  Our girls performed very well and we are so proud of them!  Nana and Papa came to watch, which the girls really appreciated.  We recorded all of their events so we can watch them whenever we want.

Samantha is very proud of her gingerbread house that she made at school.  She even shared it with Sofia when it was time to eat it!

First Day of School 2012

Sadly this is the best picture I got.  

The best part is they don't care!  Both kids were so excited for school to start!  Samantha has been talking about it for weeks and Sofia had no hesitation.  Daddy and I are very proud!

My week with the girls

I finally got to indulge in some time with my girls... no work, just home chaos and the joys of girl time (and Ely).  I've been in my job over 2 years and have never taken a full week off... I'm a little ashamed of that.  I have really enjoyed being able to just focus on my family since they are what matters most.

We started early on Friday by taking Ely for a morning walk and a trip to the coffee shop.  Then, the girls went to "camp" at a friend's house, followed by more park time with Ella and Johanna, followed by more playtime with them at our house.  Then, Ms. S brought Kaya and Kayde over for more playtime.  It was a great way to start the vacation!

Saturday morning the girls and I went out and about for a bit while Daddy got ready for his trip and did outdoor chores.  I took some time out in the afternoon with my friend Rene' to go shooting.  I'm a fairly good shot, and it was fun to try a muzzle loader rifle from the 1800's.

On Sunday we dropped Daddy off at the airport.  The girls rode their bikes while I ran with Ely for a full hour.  Sofia was exhausted, but it was good!  They kept doubting me on where we were going and it was comical to see them try to navigate.  At the playground by the car, we took Ely down a few slides and he went in the tunnels... we all laughed and cheered him on!  The girls noticed an airplane and waved saying, "We love you Daddy and we miss you already!"  It brought tears to my eyes.  We all miss him so much when he's gone and we know he misses us too.

Of course, Ely jumped in the lake so I had to give him another bath!  (Last week he had one too after going in the water at the dog park.)

Sunday continued with a kid switch: I had Sofia and Kayde while Ms. S (a teacher at Sofia's school) took Samantha for a sleepover at her house.  It was an easy way to split my girls up to give them a break and it was fun to host Kayde's first sleepover by herself!

Monday was spent recovering from the sleepover.  Other than walking Ely and playing around the house, we really didn't do much and that was fine.  Tuesday Sofia had swimming and then we all got haircuts.  That took a while, but everyone managed themselves and there were no behavioral issues.  I was very proud!  Wednesday the girls had some other friends over before we took Grammy out to dinner, which was nice since we haven't seen her much lately.  We got to see Nana at her local community center too.

July highlights and a water fight in June

We've taken Ely to the Farmer's Market a couple of times, family walks, playdates.  We got together lots with friends and neighbors, went to a Lynx game, worked to train ourselves and Ely, and occassionally managed a little downtime.  It was a great month!

Also, I forgot to write about the family water fight in June... we had water balloons and new water guns.  Here are some shots from that.  Daddy loved his colossal gun and was mad with power.

April 2012

We began April by giving Daddy some well-earned downtime and going to a small scale children's museum close by.  I was still reeling from unexpectedly missing spring break.

I love Sofia's reaction in the video... priceless.

Daddy was gone for 3 weeks in April. He was home on the weekends and we made the most of the time together, but he was missed by all. The girls and I kept ourselves busy with mostly good weather, playdates and living simply. I realize there will never be enough time so I try to cherish very moment I have with my children. As a family, we have taken an approach to salvage whatever sanity we have and not be over-scheduled. We know families that run themselves ragged every day of the week to activities, clubs and other classes. I am trying to avoid that for us. I don't judge those who make a different choice, or say we won't ever be in that situation (we have have our turn). I'm just trying to keep it simple for as long as I can. I don't see a benefit to signing The girls up for camps if they're not interested. I can put the money toward a vacation or their college funds. I think that Samantha is doing well with only one activity, but I don't know how long that will continue. Sofia is loving the arrangment because of all the playdates. I usually try to get together with another family at least once a week/weekend. I've offered to take kids to support other busy parents and am improving at accepting help. Mostly though, I've been allowing myself to just be instead of constantly enriching my kids. Relaxation is important too!


These are from March... Samantha loves her special breakfasts with her Dad.  Sofia struggles with missing him, which make moments like the one I captured below even more special.

Throughout April there was Family Fun Day and Science Night at Samantha's school, where I got to volunteer (and take the kids around).  We saw a lot of the kids and their families.  We got to have some time with our friends, watch our tulips bloom, see our extended families on both sides for Passover and Easter.  I also managed to spend some time with my friends and squeezed in time to volunteer for Art Adventure and my regular time slot at Samantha's school.

All in all it was another full month, but again, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Let them be who they are

I often tell people that I have no control over my children.  I couldn't make them stop kicking me in the womb so why would I delude myself into thinking I can make them do anything now?  All I can do is model the behavior I want to see from them and know them well enough to see what's coming if I don't get them out of a situation.

There is a cliche in self-help programs referred to HALT.  It's a signal to never let yourself get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely or too Tired.  Everyone will start to fall apart when they hit those breakpoints.  Think about it... it's the beginning of desperation, which leads to those things you can't ever take back.

Our children are kind, caring and full of enthusiasm for life!  They love each other and are sisters, meaning they are the best of friends and the worst of enemies.  They miss each other, but savor the time away from their sister.  A little adventure alone is a good thing and necessary to everyone's sanity.

Today we spent a calm day as a family.  We played games, read some books and did gymnastics.  The girls held hands in the car as we went to Nana and Papa's house for dinner to enjoy some extended family time.  The kids loved seeing their cousins as usual and tonight Ashley was there too.  She commented on how intelligent and observant Samantha is, and how Sofia and Samantha's personalities are so opposite.  Sofia is free with her affections and has no fear of jumping in while Samantha prefers to watch the dynamic initially, though she has no fear either.  They are so different, but in our family they complement each other well.

It's a good thing and I am proud to say that I have no control over my children!

Spring Break 2012

Since I spent most of the week working, Daddy handled Spring Break Week all by himself. This was his reflection of that time.


As a parent who travels a lot for work, I've felt very removed from my family as of late. I miss seeing the things the kids enjoy like gymnastics and swimming. After 3 straight weeks on the road, I took a week off - no cell phone, no computer - to dedicate to time with the kids during their Spring Break. Unfortunately, mommy had to work so not only did I get a lot of time with the kids by myself but I also got a window into what she juggles while I'm away.

The girls and I made a list of all the things they'd like to do. We played on the trampolines at Skyzone, visited the zoo with Nana, went to gymnastics, played lots of games, read stories and they even convinced me that an afternoon at Chuck E. Cheese's would be fun - and it was.

I have to say that the week, although not relaxing for me, was a true pleasure and something I wish I could do more often. We basically did whatever they wanted and I feel like I accomplished my goal of giving them a fun week doing things with them that they enjoy. I know they needed time with me but I needed time with them too.

My kids are growing up fast. April is almost over and it feels as though the school year just started a few weeks ago. I'm a bit jealous of the fun summer I know they'll have and I'm already looking forward to the next time we can spend a week together. Ideally I'll work it out so it can be two weeks over the summer because as soon as we know it, fall will be here and school will start again. As I sit here watching their gymnastics class - now on Saturday's - I'm reminded yet again of how fun it is to be a kid and how privileged I feel to be able to share this time with them.

Here's a bit from Skyzone:

January 2012

Happy New Year!

Time seems to fly whether or not you're having fun.  We don't exist in a perpetual state of bliss, but we definitely have more good times than struggles.  We've gotten together with friends, took Grammy out for brunch and are rarely bored.

The girls started gymnastics and love it. Swimming lessons resumed and both girls are doing well. I'm taking some time to re-learn playing the piano and Daddy even got to watch a few football games.

 Happy Birthday Antie She!

I also had my first car accident and am so grateful that it was only our car that was hurt.  I was amused that after telling both Grammy and Samantha, they both sounded very concerned and asked if I got any tickets (I didn't).  There were over 100 accidents in our metro area, so it certainly wasn't just me, but the next time road conditions are like that, I won't take the freeway. 

Relaxing weekend

I decided to forget about the non-urgent work that I took home and hang with the family.  It was a good decision (as it nearly always is).  We made progress on some projects that had been waiting and just spent time with each other.  The time went by too fast, but it was nice for us all to be together.  We saw both sides of our extended family and while it was busy, it was relaxing most of all.  I needed the perspective change from "I've got to squeeze everything in somehow" to "It'll get done when it gets done because I'm with my family right now". 

Life is short.  I'm reminded of that witnessing my kids grow and watching our dog show his age.  It's natural and while I've dealt with the deaths loved ones and lived on a farm, I'm sad and resigned.  Fonzie continues to be as cherished and as frustrating as any member of our family.  I tell Daddy and the kids that we never know how much time anyone has, so we should appreciate the time we have now.  I'm grateful that we've got today.

From a quote my father recited to me:

The past is a memory, the future is unknown, that's why today is called a present.

Make it most of it.

Torah Consecration

Samantha began Sunday school at our synangogue this year.  As part of her inaguration into Jewish education, there was a ceremony welcoming her to Judaism.  Grammy, Nana and Papa all attended and it was lovely to see her keep the tradition.

The older students take on a mentoring role, here is Samantha with her "buddy" and Sofia.